Are We Raising Boys To Be Men Anymore?

This past Fourth of July (my favorite holiday - FYI) my 6 year old son and I went to the Texas Hill Country to celebrate with family. Particularly his 4 young cousins. I work very hard to make sure my son stays connected to his extended family. A trait, I have found, NOT to be the norm for us living in large metropolitan areas, but that's another BLOG.

When I was younger and growing up in the Texas Hill country, a typical summer day was getting up, getting fed and running down to the river where we would spend all day in the Texas sun, swimming in the river, jumping out of 50 foot tall Cypress trees or plunging from the cut cliffs overlooking the river. This was something I wanted my son to experience. Hopefully for him too, this would become one of his fondest memories.

For me, the only thing that topped those summer memories was when such activities happened to fall on the Fourth of July weekend. But, I started noticing a disturbing trend while standing in line at the fireworks vendor on the side of the Texas Highway. What was this disturbing trend?

I witnessed, at least a hand full of young boys (from 8 to 14), making their selections of fireworks only to hear them order or express that they wanted things that "sparkled or smoked but really didn't pop, explode or make a loud noise!" WHAT??? Isn't that EXACTLY what you go to the fireworks store for when you're a young boy. I remember having to be toned down by my elders and told to be careful, YET now boys seem neutered!

Boys who are afraid of pops, bangs, explosions and loud noises? What was the common dominator of these boys? Coifed hair, gel, mouse, baggy pants, with nothing out of place and bracelets and necklaces. Should we say, budding METROSEXUALS. I could not believe it. And, to look at their parents I saw, coifed hair, perfect clothes, loafers (without socks), the right European Car and the perfect affected pose and English. I could hear these parents in my head telling these boys, "Now Johnny, WE don't play Cowboy and Indians. That's not politically correct and besides what WE did to the Indians is just unacceptable". This image was reaffirmed in my head when they drove off in their European car that sported a Major University alumnae Sticker and a Kerry-Edwards sticker.

Have we forgot that boys are SUPPOSED to want to conquer, claim and attempt feats of daring to prove their own worthiness to THEMSELVES? Have we forgot that even IF you NEVER show your son a gun, a show about guns or play guns with him, that he will strip the slice of cheese from his sandwich and nibble it into the shape of a gun and start shooting it at the table? GOD MADE BOYS THAT WAY!!

This all made me wonder if my precious son would be considered weird or strange in the first grade BECAUSE he loves to play guns, be the hero and dream about saving the day and human kind? Never-the-less, we went on to my Aunt's ranch, popped the firecrackers (and I even showed my son and his cousins how to bore a hole in a Hill Country Road Side Gourd, stuff it with a Black Cat firecrackers, and the light it, only to wait until the exact right moment to hurl it at an unsuspecting family member. The result? GOURD GUTS GALORE - all over one's clothes - great fun!).

The next day, when we went to the river. I took my 6 year old son and two of his similar aged cousins ( a boy and a girl) and then we collectively jumped off the 30 foot cliffs down into the river. Boy was it fun and exciting. We all struggled up the bank to get to the cliff because the ONLY way you could reach the perch is to swim over, pull yourself up on exposed Cypress roots, and then drag your body up the very steep incline. But we made it.

I loved the fact my precious son was doing the EXACT same childhood things I was. It made me proud to see my son tackle the feat as I waited below to help him (IF NEEDED). It was a double pleasure to see HIS FACE after he did it and conquered HIS fear. He just kept doing it over and over. He just kept lugging his body up that steep incline and kept jumping down into the flowing river below. It wore me out and he did it three times more than I DID!

When finished, we all swam back across the river to get ready to go home. There I was greeted by a woman and her husband asking me "Don't you think that is dangerous for kids?". I answered "I grew up doing this, in this very spot. My son wanted to do the same, plus I was there to SPOT him if anything went wrong." They looked at me and frowned. As we walked away, I watched their son (was was about 15) take the "rope swing" from the side of the bank, climb about 4 feet up the 20 foot swing perch (where you should stand), and then take several deep breaths before he swung off into the river.

Only thing is, he could not hold up his own body weight with his poor undeveloped strength and he came very near whacking his head on the bank and the tangled Cypress roots below. A 15 year old boy did not even have the strength to hold up his own weight with his own two hands. MY CASE EXACTLY!